Young players in a park, the first baseball game of spring. Not the parents in the stands, sponsored uniforms, coaches and mini-cheerleaders kind of game, but the kind we used to play as kids. Someone brought a couple of bats, most(but not all) are equipped with their own glove, and a ball. Hit over the fence means the end of the game or everybody has to go scrounging around in the tall grass to find it.
A few of the players, you can tell, have played before. Good stance, eye on the ball, halfway decent pitch and it soars to the outfield. But among these heroes, there are two, younger kids, who are simply inept.
The first one, gets to the plate, bat lying on his shoulder, and every pitch goes right past as he swings at the air. His team begins to grumble, the other team makes jeers. After a couple of times at bat, he throws the bat to the ground, red faced and choking back tears and stomps home.
The second boy, it's the same scenario. His stance is poor, the other team makes fun of his every move, and he misses every pitch. Yet there is a difference for this kid. His older brother is on his team. When the brother shouts encouragement after each missed swing, the team follows the lead. After the second at-bat, his brother takes him to the side and gives him some pointers, shows him how to choke up on the bat, how to stand.
The next turn, he still does not get on base, but he does clip the ball. All smiles, he takes his place on the bench, ready for the next round.
It's easy to tell what the difference is between the two players. One boy goes home happy, laughing, and ready for the next game to try again.
The other, in spite of having the same skill and failure, is without the same support and becomes downhearted in his unsuccessful attempts. With no one to encourage him, he leaves, feeling hurt, unappreciated and friendless.
Insignificant.
Seeing countless individuals faced with this hurt and anger is what lead to the creation of "The SOFI Process. TheSOFIprocess details how in an increasing angry society, many of these feelings can be traced back to being made to feel insignificant. "SOFI" stands for the "significance of feeling insignificant" and teaches that while conflict is a fundamental part of any healthy relationship, meeting conflict with an intense anger response is unhealthy and unproductive. Helping to focus these emotions, by defining the meaning of significance, the process shows how this understanding can influence your relationships and your life. No longer feeling alone, we can make better choices, even with difficult relationships, and live not in anger but in peace.
The dream of the creators of TheSOFIprocess is to simply get people chatting about the framework of feeling more significant, thinking about themselves and sharing those feelings in a dialog about the theSOFIprocess. Reaching out to people through her social network, Allison offers theSOFIprocess without charge. She has also recently released a book, "The Answer, a Journey from Anger to Peace", that outlines how we can live our day to day lives working toward significance (to matter, to be respected) in our important relationships, and use this awareness to grow healthy relationships in all aspects of our work and family lives.
You can connect with Allison Wynn and learn more about theSOFIprocess on their website, athttp://www.thesofiprocess.comor on their Facebook page, theSOFIprocess. "The Answer, a Journey from Anger to Peace" is available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble.com or athttp://www.outskirtspress.com/theanswer.
The Significance of Feeling Insignificant