The Sides of Anger

in Anger

What is anger? Buddha once said: "Anger will never disappear as long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger". This is one side of anger. It is resentment against others. It is the common belief that we get angry at others. We get angry with others for what they did or did not do. It is a short lived madness. The line between sanity and insanity is very thin and every time we get angry we cross this line. We are lucky that we come back to the side of sanity.

But what about the other side? Is not anger guilt that is directed towards ourselves? It is not the result of what the world does to you. It is a manifestation of your inability to take control of a situation. It is not born out of deficiency of others but out of your own inadequacy. At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled. Anger typically comes from frustrated expectations.

Anger that is expressed hurts others, but, anger that is suppressed hurts ourselves. With every spell of anger your health is affected. As such neither expressing nor suppressing anger is the solution. It is the transcending of anger that is required. Because as expressed in a Chinese proverb: " If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow". So, you should become aware of the reason of your anger. The more you become aware of your anger, the lesser will be its intensity.

And when you are angry what should you do? You should identify the cause of your anger and direct it towards the problem and not towards people. Anger is futile and according to Albert Einstein it lives only in the bosom of fools. The more you become aware of the futility of anger, the more you will become aware that it neither serves you nor your relationship with others. You should concentrate your energy on answers and not excuses.

It is easy to become angry. Controlling it and finding the cause for that anger is difficult because we give way to our emotions the moment that we become angry. But again anger is a great force. Control it and divert it into other channels of constructive action.

Just remember that "for every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness"; as stated by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

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Oliver S. Daniel has 1 articles online

Oliver S. Daniel is a Freelance Writer of a variety of articles and can be reached at

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The Sides of Anger

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This article was published on 2010/03/31