If I were a script writer in the movie business, how many stories could I tell? (Seriously I can't due to the nature of my coaching relationships). However a theme that keeps repeating throughout my work is anger & attractiveness:
The story goes like this:
Girl meets boy, fall in love, have relationship, relationship fails - break up! But WHAT-A-BREAK UP!
From throwing 'Singles again' parties to destroying his car, to vandalizing an apartment etc....what does that tell me about your character, your core being?
Anger? OK, it's over, for whatever reason you couldn't or wouldn't work it out. Now at this point, that's it, it's done, game over!
At the same time a new beginning, maybe the first day of the rest of your life, the next will be even better...
So, venting is not only fine but needs to happen! Having outbursts that destroy property or maybe even health is nuts!
Eckart Tolle speaks about the EGO. Your anger reflects what your ego is experiencing! Are you your ego, or are you the one in control?
Thomas Leonard, the father of modern coaching writes in his book '28 Laws of Attraction' about the presence.
The relationship is gone, he/ she is moving on and so should you! It hurts, I know, but you cannot shackle someone to your bedpost if the don't want to any longer! If you consciously live in the present you should see a sea of opportunities - if you live in self pitty, denial and hate you see nothing but black!
Choices, my mentor David Steele speaks of being the 'Chooser', meaning you always have a choice - the choice is yours to make, so don't leave it up to someone else or circumstances to dictate what it is you feel at any given moment!
Tony Robbins speaks of being able to change your mindset in an instant!
Whenever I come across someone with so much anger and 'blackness' before their eyes I ask them to tell me about the first moment they met their ex, and then the one before and the one before! This takes off the negative edge and puts them in a positive mindset of joyful experiences. Let your recent ex move on and spoil yourself rotten - not necessarily financially but emotionally, learn a new language, take up a new hobby, make new friends and in doing so you will be the radiant person that attracts your potential mate and who is 'attractive'.
Would you want to be around someone negative, bad mouthing people, destructive and downright ugly in his ways? If your answer is no then change your ways and live in excess of your positive feelings. Become the person you would like to see and date, with values you cherish!